for a much needed dose of "humor" look at -- World's most stupid security measures named and shamed

[Dave Farber <dave () farber net>]

From: Wdimitr () aol com
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 2003 15:15:43 EDT
To: Wdimitr () aol com
Subject: World's most stupid security measures named and shamed


The Register

World's most stupid security measures named and shamed

By John Leyden
Posted: 09/04/2003 at 09:23 GMT

Privacy International today announced the results of its competition to
find the world's most pointless security measures.

The competition, launched in February, attracted almost 5000
nominations from 35 countries.

While airlines and airports dominated the competition, nominations
arose from almost all areas of private and public sector activity. The
winners include JFK Airport, T-Mobile (UK), Michigan Correctional
Facilities and the Australian government.

The Stupid Security Awards were judged by a distinguished international
panel of security and privacy experts, and intended to highlight the
absurdities of the security industry.

Privacy International's director, Simon Davies, said his group took the
initiative because of "innumerable" security initiatives around the world
that had absolutely no genuine security benefit.

"The extraordinary number of nominations indicates that the situation
has become ridiculous," said Davies. "Security has become the
smokescreen for incompetent and robotic managers the world over."

"The situation has become more than an irritation to the public. It has
become an outright danger".

The winners are: 

Most Egregiously Stupid Award
Winner - The Australian government for a "litany of pointless, irritating
and self-serving security measures"
Runner-Up - Moscow Mayor Yury Luzhkov for the 'Propiska' Identity
Papers 

Most Inexplicably Stupid Award
Winner - Philadelphia International Airport for over-reaction to a bottle of
cologne 
Runner-Up - Heathrow Airport for quarantining a quantity of green tea

Most Annoyingly Stupid Award
Winner - T-Mobile (UK) for pointless and idiotic financial security
measures 
Runner-Up - Bay Area Rapid Transport (Bart) for closing its restrooms.

Most Flagrantly Intrusive Award
Winner - Delta Terminal at JFK Airport for forcing a nursing mother to
drink her own breast milk
Runner-Up - Carson City Correctional Facility, Michigan for forcing
women visitors to wear bras.

Most Stupidly Counter Productive Award
Winner - San Francisco General Hospital for "blind idiocy" in its identity
checking procedures
Runner-Up - San Francisco International Airport for endangering the
public 

Dishonourable Mention
The New Yorker Hotel, New York for aggressive, unnecessary and
meaningless security measures.

Full details of the awards can be found here
<http://www.privacyinternational.org/activities/stupidsecurity/>.
[See exceprts, below.]


The competition was judged by a panel of well-known security experts,
public policy specialists, privacy advocates and journalists. ®


================


http://www.privacyinternational.org/activities/stupidsecurity/winners.html

...

MOST INEXPLICABLY STUPID AWARD
WINNER - PHILADELPHIA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT

News article

http://reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml;jsessionid=MRJEL2LCC3Q4CCRBAEOCFEY?type
=o

ddlyEnoughNews&storyID=2259081

Cologne at Airport Brings Rash of Quarantines

February 20, 2003 07:56 AM ET

PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - An innocent spray of cologne from a Saudi Arabian
college
student caused authorities in Philadelphia to quarantine a hospital
emergency 
room, a
doughnut shop and a drug store on Wednesday, officials said.

The incident began at Philadelphia International Airport around 12:45 a.m.
EST, when the
22-year-old man arrived at a security checkpoint while trying to make a
flight to Saudi
Arabia after a day of travel problems spawned by a major snowstorm.

The student's visa was fine, the FBI said later. But airport security asked
him about a
container of liquid in his luggage. While trying to show that the container
was a bottle of
cologne, the man inadvertently sprayed its aromatic contents on two airport
security
guards, officials said.

"First he sprayed himself," said FBI special agent Linda Vizi. "It was
merely 
to
demonstrate that he had cologne."

But the action prompted airport security to issue a code-red hazardous
materials alert,
which brought FBI agents, city police officers and hazardous materials
specialists from
the Philadelphia Fire Department rushing to the site.

Fearing the cologne could be a harmful biological or chemical agent,
authorities sent the
two guards to a nearby hospital, which quarantined its emergency room for
three hours
until what hospital officials referred to as "the unknown substance" could
be 
identified as
cologne.

Two city police officers, who also came into contact with the cologne while
examining
its container, later went off to a doughnut shop and a 24-hour Rite Aid
pharmacy in
Philadelphia, officials said. When authorities found out, they ordered both
stores shut
for 45 minutes until the analysis was complete.

The Saudi student, whom authorities did not identify, was questioned by the
FBI and
released without charges.

"We were able to verify his status, and the fire department was able to
verify that what he
had was cologne," Vizi said.

 

RUNNER-UP - HEATHROW AIRPORT

Gunpowder Tea

Last September 2002, I was flying through Heathrow Airport. Just ahead of me
in the queue at
the hand luggage X-Ray checkpoint was an elderly gentleman of Mediterranean
appearance
whose bag contained some items of interest to the security staff.
Firstly they found about a dozen disposable butane gas cigarette lighters,
which they
confiscated on the grounds that these were not allowed as either hand or
hold 
luggage. Why
are these lighters sold at airports ?
Then they found about 4 small screwdrivers of the sort used to fit plugs to
electrical devices,
still in their cardboard and plastic blister packs. These were allowed,
provided that the
gentleman went downstairs and checked his bag in as hold luggage. Are these
small
screwdrivers more of a risk than the cutlery and glassware and glass bottles
available on any
flight ?
The third item was a dual quarter pound cellophane wrapped cardboard package
of loose leaf
Chinese tea. Unfortunately, it was of a well known variety known as
Gunpowder 
Tea, and had
this printed on the packaging.
Obviously this was of such importance, that, despite already forcing the
passenger to check
his hand bag as hold luggage, it was decided that the tea was allowed, but
that the evil word
"Gunpowder" was not. Consequently the security staff then rummaged around
(thereby
delaying me and the rest of the queue) and found a plastic bag into which
they decanted the
fragrant tea leaves, and confiscated the cardboard packaging !
 
...


Bay Area Rapid Transport (Bart)

I think one of my faorite "stupid security" measures instistated since 9/11
has been the
closure of all Bay Area Rapid Transport (BART) restrooms. This closure, I
suppose, was
meant to limit a terrorist's ablity to place a deadly toilet-bomb
potentially 
littering the station
with feces.
What behooves me is why any terrorist would choose the BART restrooms to
house his
infrastructure disabling bomb when in fact a bomb could be easily carried on
to the train itself
and detonated somewhere within the actual tunnel. There is no security over
what can be
carried onto the trains as many people take large luggage as well as bikes.
Police often stand
by as a "show of force" against the potentail carry-on bomb but do nothing
to 
search anyone,
even on a random spot check level.
Since these restroom have been closed I have however noticed another form of
rabid "bio
terrorism" being waged on the trains, public urination. Now, closing the
restrooms may be a
simple sollution for some, but for those who find themselves having to
urinate while within the
BART system (some train journeys can take over 1 hour) now must do so on the
steps,
platform, or my personal favorite, the train cars themselves.
How has BART respinded to this act? Well, they have procured a special URINE
cone which
on a daily basis warns riders at the Oakland 12th Street of the dangers of
Urine.
The risks of a terrorist act on a public transportation system are great
closing public restroom
is simply a ploy to use this fear to reduce costs for an underfunded agency.
UMMMMMM the
sweet smell of urine is sure to boost ridership.

 
...


DELTA TERMINAL AT JFK AIRPORT

News article

Airport Screeners Order Mom to Drink Breast Milk

http://www.newsmax.com/showinsidecover.shtml?a=2002/8/6/92628

By Carl Limbacher

Tuesday, Aug. 6, 2002 10:27 a.m. EDT

In the latest in a series of airport security nightmares, a woman flying
from 
New York to
Florida was forced to drink three bottles of her own breast milk before
being 
allowed to board
a flight at JFK International Airport - in an incident that has one
prominent 
New York civil rights
attorney ready to sue.
Elizabeth McGarry of Oceanside, N.Y., called WABC Radio's Curtis Sliwa and
Ron Kuby
Tuesday morning to relate the story.
Guards at JFK's Delta terminal first "patted me down and made me take my
shoes off,"
McGanny told the morning radio duo. "One security guard took my 4-month-old
out of my
arms and then they went through the baby's diaper bag."
There the guards discovered the three suspect bottles, McGanny said, and
promptly ordered
her to drink the contents.
" I'm not drinking that. It's breast milk," she replied. "They said, 'Either
drink all three bottles or
you're not getting on the plane.'"
McGanny said that when she asked the guards why they were putting her
through 
the ordeal,
they explained, "There could be explosives in the baby bottles and I could
throw something at
the stewardesses."
" I asked them if I could just taste it; if I could just show them how you
would check a baby's
bottle - that it was warm milk and everything. And they said, 'No,'"
ordering 
her to "drink it all."
The nursing mom then offered to feed the milk to her baby as the guards
looked on, but they
refused.
After hearing the tale, Kuby, who doubles as one of New York's
most-celebrated civil rights
attorneys, suggested that McGanny call his office.
" How much money do you smell here?" Sliwa asked his radio partner.
" If I get a jury of nursing mothers - a lot," Kuby replied.

 


 


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