FC: Hilarious: Kentucky bill declares war on gambling riverboats

[Declan McCullagh <declan () well com>]

http://www.lrc.state.ky.us/2002rsrecord/hr256.htm

   _________________________________________________________________
   
   HR 256 (BR 2906) - T. Burch
        Encourage the purchase of a submarine to patrol the waters of the
   Commonwealth and search and destroy all casino riverboats.
   
        Mar 25-introduced in House
        Mar 26-to House Floor
   _________________________________________________________________
   

A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS
Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.

WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has
been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and

WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and

WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant
calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky
citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and

WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from
the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of
which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky
citizens;

NOW, THEREFORE,

Be it resolved by the House of Representatives of the General Assembly
of the Commonwealth of Kentucky:

 Section 1.  The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the
formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages
the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine,
namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the
portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth
to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may
encounter.

Section 2.  The House of Representatives does hereby authorize the
notification of the casino riverboat consulate of this Resolution and
impending whoopin' so that they may remove their casino vessels to
friendlier waters.




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