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Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene
From: Randy Bush <randy () psg com>
Date: Sat, 27 Aug 2011 12:23:49 +0900
Subject: Urgent hurricane alert Date: Fri, 26 Aug 2011 14:55:15 -0400 From: borowitzreport.com <andy () borowitzreport com> To: <zita () psg com> Internet Outages from Hurricane Could Force People to Interact with Other People, Officials Warn FEMA: Prepare for Unwanted Eye Contact, Awkward Silences WASHINGTON (*The Borowitz Report – As Hurricane Irene prepared to batter the East Coast of the United States, federal disaster officials warned that Internet outages caused by the storm could force people to interact with other people for the first time in years. News of the possible interpersonal interactions created panic up and down the coast as residents braced themselves for the horror of awkward silences and unwanted eye contact. And as officials warned people in the hurricane zone to stay indoors, residents feared the worst: conversations with members of their immediate family. At the Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA chief Craig Fugate offered these words of advice for those who may be forced into direct contact with other human beings: “Be prepared. Write down possible topics to talk about in advance. Sports is a good one, and of course the weather. Remember, a conversation is basically a series of Facebook updates strung together.” He also offered these words of hope for those trapped interacting with other people due to an Internet outage: “At some point, the wifi will go back on, and hopefully you won’t have to go through anything like this again for a long, long time.” In a related story, the Rev. Pat Robertson said the best way to prepare for Hurricane Irene is not being gay.
Current thread:
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene, (continued)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Chris (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Scott Morris (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Scott Morris (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Charles N Wyble (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Robert Bonomi (Aug 27)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Jon Lewis (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Chris (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Matthew Kaufman (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Owen DeLong (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Matthew Kaufman (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Owen DeLong (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene telmnstr (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Randy Bush (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Majdi S. Abbas (Aug 26)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Jeff Shultz (Aug 27)
- RE: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Paul Stewart (Aug 27)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Jay Ashworth (Aug 28)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Jeff Shultz (Aug 27)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Joe Greco (Aug 27)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene andrew.wallace (Aug 28)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Christoph Blecker (Aug 28)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Paul Graydon (Aug 28)
- RE: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene Alex Rubenstein (Aug 29)
- Re: New Natural Disaster! 8/27/2011 Hurricane Irene David Cantrell (Aug 31)