Spend $2 Bill, Go To Jail

["Dave Farber" <dave () farber net>]

------- Original message -------
From: Bob Frankston  <bob3-19-0501 () bobf frankston com>
Sent: 8/4/'05,  15:39

I normally don't forward jokes but this resonates with this list in how people deal with the unfamiliar. Perhaps most 
sad is that last line in which the son shi
es away from those dangerous bills. Perhaps that's my problem, all this makes me want to make more use of the twos 
because ... well, that's the crux of it, why 
does the idea of using these bills appeal to me. It's not that I want to annoy people but I feel an obligation to 
expand people's world even with in a minor way
 like this. What is life about if not distinguishing itself from the unchanging?


From: Steve Wozniak [mailto:steve () woz org]
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 02:53
To: Steve's Joke List:
Subject: Spend $2 Bill, Go To Jail


Ha ha, they missed a lot more good stories...Woz





http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-md.olesker08mar08,1,76004.column?coll=bal-local-columnists&ctrack=1&cset=true



Text:



PUT YOURSELF in Mike Bolesta's place. On the morning of Feb. 20, he buys a new radio-CD player for his 17-year-old son 
Christopher's car. He pays the $114 insta
llation charge with 57 crisp new $2 bills, which, when last observed, were still considered legitimate currency in the 
United States proper. The $2 bills are Bo
lesta's idea of payment, and his little comic protest, too.



 For this, Bolesta, Baltimore County resident, innocent citizen, owner of Capital City Student Tours, finds himself 
under arrest.



 Finds himself, in front of a store full of customers at the Best Buy on York Road in Lutherville, locked into 
handcuffs and leg irons.



 Finds himself transported to the Baltimore County lockup in Cockeysville, where he's handcuffed to a pole for three 
hours while the U.S. Secret Service is call
ed into the case.



 Have a nice day, Mike.



 "Humiliating," the 57-year old Bolesta was saying now. "I am 6 feet 5 inches tall, and I felt like 8 inches high. To 
be handcuffed, to have all those people lo
oking on, to be cuffed to a pole -- and to know you haven't done anything wrong. And me, with a brother, Joe, who spent 
33 years on the city police force. It wa
s humiliating."



 What we have here, besides humiliation, is a sense of caution resulting in screw-ups all around.



 "When I bought the stereo player," Bolesta explains, "the technician said it'd fit perfectly into my son's dashboard. 
But it didn't. So they called back and sa
id they had another model that would fit perfectly, and it was cheaper. We got a $67 refund, which was fine. As long as 
it fit, that's all.



 "So we go back and pay for it, and they tell us to go around front with our receipt and pick up the difference in the 
cost. I ask about installation charges. T
hey said, 'No installation charge, because of the mix-up. Our mistake, no charge.' Swell.



 "But then, the next day, I get a call at home. They're telling me, 'If you don't come in and pay the installation fee, 
we're calling the police.' Jeez, where d
id we go from them admitting a mistake to suddenly calling the police? So I say, 'Fine, I'll be in tomorrow.' But, 
overnight, I'm starting to steam a little. It
's not the money -- it's the threat. So I thought, I'll count out a few $2 bills."



 He has lots and lots of them.



 With his Capital City Student Tours, he arranges class trips for school kids around the country traveling to large 
East Coast cities, including Baltimore. He's
 been doing this for the last 18 years. He makes all the arrangements: hotels, meals, entertainment. And it's part of 
his schtick that, when Bolesta hands out m
eal money to students, he does it in $2 bills, which he picks up from his regular bank, Sun Trust.



 "The kids don't see that many $2 bills, so they think this is the greatest thing in the world," Bolesta says. "They 
don't want to spend 'em. They want to save 
'em. I've been doing this since I started the company. So I'm thinking, 'I'll stage my little comic protest. I'll pay 
the $114 with $2 bills.'"



 At Best Buy, they may have perceived the protest -- but did not sense the comic aspect of 57 $2 bills.



 "I'm just here to pay the bill," Bolesta says he told a cashier. "She looked at the $2 bills and told me, 'I don't 
have to take these if I don't want to.' I sa
id, 'If you don't, I'm leaving. I've tried to pay my bill twice. You don't want these bills, you can sue me.' So she 
took the money. Like she's doing me a favor
."



 He remembers the cashier marking each bill with a pen. Then other store personnel began to gather, a few of them 
asking, "Are these real?"



 "Of course they are," Bolesta said. "They're legal tender."



 A Best Buy manager refused comment last week. But, according to a Baltimore County police arrest report, suspicions 
were roused when an employee noticed some s
mearing of ink. So the cops were called in. One officer noticed the bills ran in sequential order.



 "I told them, 'I'm a tour operator. I've got thousands of these bills. I get them from my bank. You got a problem, 
call the bank,'" Bolesta says. "I'm sitting 
there in a chair. The store's full of people watching this. All of a sudden, he's standing me up and handcuffing me 
behind my back, telling me, 'We have to do t
his until we get it straightened out.'



 "Meanwhile, everybody's looking at me. I've lived here 18 years. I'm hoping my kids don't walk in and see this. And 
I'm saying, 'I can't believe you're doing t
his. I'm paying with legal American money.'"



 Bolesta was then taken to the county police lockup in Cockeysville, where he sat handcuffed to a pole and in leg irons 
while the Secret Service was called in.



 "At this point," he says, "I'm a mass murderer."



 Finally, Secret Service agent Leigh Turner arrived, examined the bills and said they were legitimate, adding, 
according to the police report, "Sometimes ink on
 money can smear."



 This will be important news to all concerned.



 For Baltimore County police, said spokesman Bill Toohey, "It's a sign that we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 
world."



 The other day, one of Bolesta's sons needed a few bucks. Bolesta pulled out his wallet and "whipped out a couple of $2 
bills. But my son turned away. He said h
e doesn't want 'em any more."



 He's seen where such money can lead.







(contributed to Woz by Scott Fink)



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