IP: Silicon Valley dark humor.... REAL DARK

[David Farber <dave () farber net>]

> Date: Wed, 06 Jun 2001 13:48:03 -0700
> To: dave () farber net, laubach () matmos com
> From: "Suzanne M. Johnson" <sjohnson () pobox com>
> Subject: Silicon Valley dark humor....
>
>
> > Dot-com Diary
> >
> >
> >  January 2000:
> >
> >  Moved to Silicon Valley for a job.
> >
> >  My salary is 30% higher!
> >
> >  I have stock options!
> >
> >  The temperature outside is 65F in winter!
> >
> >  California is the best place on earth!!!
> >
> >
> >
> >  February:
> >
> >  Still looking for an apartment.
> >
> >  Freeways everywhere to take you places.
> >
> >  Still love California!
> >
> >
> >
> >  March:
> >
> >  Found a one-bedroom apartment for $1900/mo.
> >
> >  California is more expensive than I thought.
> >
> >
> >
> >  April:
> >
> >  Gas hit $2.29/gal.
> >
> >  Somebody stole the gas from my car.
> >
> >  This sucks....
> >
> >
> >
> >  May:
> >
> >  A small earthquake!
> >
> >  And this is what my mother was so worried about?
> >
> >  Almost didn't feel it.
> >
> >
> >
> >  June:
> >
> >  A forest fire and a mud slide near LA.
> >
> >  Who cares, this is far away from me!
> >
> >
> >
> >  July:
> >
> >  A big earthquake...
> >
> >  Spent 4 hours trapped in an office.
> >
> >  Boy, that was scary.
> >
> >  We had no lousy earthquakes where I came from.
> >
> >
> >
> >  August:
> >
> >  Drought!  They turn on the water once a day.
> >
> >  This sucks big time!
> >
> >  Somebody stole the water from my car's radiator.
> >
> >  Why did I come to California?
> >
> >
> >
> >  September:
> >
> >  Decided to buy a house.
> >
> >  Found a two-bedroom fixer-upper for $800K.
> >
> >  Borrowed against my stock options for the down payment.
> >
> >  Freeway traffic is worse.  Today it took nearly two hours.  One-way.
> >
> >
> >
> >  October:
> >
> >  My startup fired 90% of the work force, including me.
> >
> >  The stock lost 98% of its value.
> >
> >  My options are underwater.
> >
> >
> >
> >  November:
> >
> >  Had to sell my house.  Couldn't make the payments.
> >
> >  Found a studio apartment for $2300/mo.
> >
> >  Traffic unbearable.
> >
> >
> >
> >  December:
> >
> >  Problems with electricity.
> >
> >  They turn the electricity off several times a day.
> >
> >  It's called "rolling blackouts".
> >
> >  Someone stole my car battery.  What do I do now?
> >
> >
> >
> >  January 2001:
> >
> >  I'm typing this, stuck in an elevator, in complete darkness.
> >  The battery of my laptop is dying.
> >
> >  Silicon Valley is no more.  Angry hordes of former dot-commers are
> >  looting in the dark.
> >
> >  It was fun while it lasted.
> >
> >  I'm coming back home.



For archives see: http://www.interesting-people.org/