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Re: UTTER HORSESHIT: [was January 15 is Personal Firewall Day, help the cause]


From: "Mike Shaw" <mike () shawnuff net>
Date: Thu, 15 Jan 2004 07:38:34 -0800

Personal Firewall!


Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid
prolonged exposure to Personal Firewall. 
Caution: Personal Firewall may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Personal Firewall Contains a liquid core, which, if exposed due to rupture,
 should not be touched, inhaled, or looked at. 
Do not use Personal Firewall on concrete.


Discontinue use of Personal Firewall if any of the following occurs:

Itching 
Vertigo 
Dizziness 
Tingling in extremities 
Loss of balance or coordination 
Slurred speech 
Temporary blindness 
Profuse sweating 
Heart palpitations 

If Personal Firewall begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter
and cover head. 
Personal Firewall may stick to certain types of skin. 

When not in use, Personal Firewall should be returned to its special
container and kept under refrigeration... 

Failure to do so relieves the makers of Personal Firewall, Wacky Products
Incorporated, and its parent company Global Chemical Unlimited, of any
and all liability. 

Ingredients of Personal Firewall include an unknown glowing substance
which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space. 

Personal Firewall has been shipped to our troops in Saudi Arabia and
is also being dropped by our warplanes on Iraq. 

Do not taunt Personal Firewall. 

Personal Firewall comes with a lifetime guarantee. 

Personal Firewall

ACCEPT NO SUBSTITUTES! 

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