FC: RIAA wants background checks on CD-RW buyers (humor)

[Declan McCullagh <declan () well com>]

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From: "D McOwen" <dmcowen () bellsouth net>
To: "Dave Winer" <webmaster () userland com>, "Declan" <declan () well com>
Subject: RIAA Wants Background Checks on CD-RW Buyers
Date: Fri, 1 Nov 2002 21:02:30 -0500

Hi Declan & Dave,

Thought you might like some humor on a not so funny subject.

Dave McOwen


http://www.bbspot.com/news/2001/10/riaa.html

Technology News
Monday  October 29 10:52 PM EST

RIAA Wants Background Checks on CD-RW Buyers

Washington DC - The RIAA is lobbying for vendors of CD-RW drives to conduct 
background checks and require a 3 day waiting period before the drive can 
be sold.

The extensive background check would include cross referencing credit card 
numbers with local merchants sales logs looking for purchases of 
dual-cassette decks between the years of 1980 and 1987. It would also 
include checking for installation of file sharing software, knowledge of 
the Internet, and the ability to hum. Any of which would bar the purchaser 
from receiving his drive.

"A CD-RW can be a dangerous weapon when it falls into the wrong hands," 
said RIAA President Hilary Rosen, "You wouldn't sell a gun to a convicted 
felon and you shouldn't sell a CD-RW drive to a Gnutella user. The 3 day 
waiting period gives us time to verify that no copyrighted material is on 
the purchasers hard drive and to make sure they have a membership in the 
Columbia House CD club."

Current owners of CD-RW drives would be required to obtain a license for 
use of the drive or face stiff fines. Licenses could be obtained by 
enrollment at a local RIAA Education Camp where the horrors of copyright 
violation would be instilled with the use of electro-shock therapy.

"I was alarmed when I heard that children had the ability to burn CDs right 
on their computers," said Senator Strom Thurmond, "We've tried to educate 
parents on the dangers of children playing with fire, and now these death 
merchants sell them that ability in a shiny metal box." Other Senators 
voiced their concerns about the possible violations of privacy in the 
proposed legislation, but since it was called the Copyright Patriotism Act 
they are unable to oppose it.

"The RIAA has gone too far this time. There are uses for CD-RW drives that 
don't violate RIAA copyrights like burning multiple copies of Microsoft 
Office for friends and neighbors," said Matthew Sodor an opponent of the 
legislation.




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