Virus Responsible for Gates Security Memo

[InfoSec News <isn () c4i org>]

Forwarded from: R. A. Hettinga <rah () shipwright com>

http://www.bbspot.com/News/2002/01/security.html

Thursday January 17 10:53 PM EST
Virus Responsible for Gates Security Memo
By Brian Briggs

Redmond, WA - An embarrassed Bill Gates admitted today that a memo
outlining Microsoft's new focus on security called Trustworthy
Computing was sent out in error when an idealistic intern sent him the
fanciful, pie in the sky report in a virus infected e-mail.

"I forgot to patch my Outlook Express and it went out to my entire
address book," said Gates. "You would think that if anything were to
get us to focus on security in our software that it would be a gaffe
like this. To ensure security in all our software, however, would mean
dropping half of our product lines and I have a fiscal responsibility
to shareholders."

Gates added, "Don't we run drug tests on interns?"

The memo was apparently drafted by college intern Glenn Hardcastle in
case Microsoft ever did decide to make security a priority. "They told
me it was busy work. That it would never happen," said Glen, "When I
saw it on the net the next day I didn't even bother going into work. I
knew my ass was grass for the big Gates-mower."

Many consumers were also relieved to hear that Microsoft's priorities
had not changed. "I was a little worried when I heard that security
would be a priority over new features. I was really excited when I
heard that in the next version of Windows I'll be able to transfer
money between my bank accounts with a simple click from any computer
connected to the Internet. I thought for sure that feature would be
scrapped in favor of 'security'," said Jack Yager.

"I checked my calendar to make sure it wasn't April 1st when the
e-mail dropped into my inbox," said AP tech reporter Donna Whitlock.
"I mean come on, Microsoft and trustworthy go together about as well
as Exxon and sea otters. I'm glad to see it was all a big mistake."

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-----------------
R. A. Hettinga <mailto: rah () ibuc com>
The Internet Bearer Underwriting Corporation <http://www.ibuc.com/>
44 Farquhar Street, Boston, MA 02131 USA
"... however it may deserve respect for its usefulness and antiquity,
[predicting the end of the world] has not been found agreeable to
experience." -- Edward Gibbon, 'Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire'



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