Bird flu: you'll die but your IT will survive

[David Farber <dave () farber net>]

Begin forwarded message:

From: Chris Hodge <hodge () sunsite utk edu>
Date: October 19, 2005 12:35:25 PM EDT
To: Dave Farber <dave () farber net>
Subject: Bird flu: you'll die but your IT will survive



Bird flu: you'll die but your IT will survive
By Lester Haines (lester.haines at theregister.co.uk)
Published Tuesday 18th October 2005 15:10 GMT
 http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/10/18/bird_flu_pandemic/

If the latest news from the wonderful world of Pandemia has got your
organisation running around like a headless Romanian chicken, then don't
fret: Gartner has released an essential guide to avian influenza, aka  
bird
flu, aka Black Death II, which mercifully states that although you will
most likely be lying dead among the smouldering ruins of society,  
your IT
infrastructure can be saved for future generations.

Gartner rightly warns that bird flu could be even worse than SARS, which
in 2003 killed a chilling 774 of 8,096 people infected worldwide, in the
process generating 1.2bn column inches of press hysteria and rating an
impressive 7.2 (out of ten) on the international "Imminent Pandemic
Apocalypse" scale.

That's as nothing compared to avian Armageddon, though, as Gartner
explains:

    The WHO says that "even in the best case scenarios of the next
pandemic, 2 to 7 million people would die and tens of millions would
require medical attention." The WHO urges the development or updating of
"influenza pandemic preparedness plans for responding to the widespread
socioeconomic disruptions that would result from having large numbers of
people unwell or dying."

OK, calm down and try to focus on your "pandemic preparedness plans",
including the "possibility of an avian flu pandemic in your business
continuity planning and crisis management preparations". Remember: "A
pandemic wouldn't affect IT systems directly, but it would likely cause
considerable economic disruption through its impact on the workforce and
on business activity."

Gotcha. Good to hear there is one virus which won't be running amok
through our systems. Any other pointers?:

    * Make your workforce aware of the avian flu threat and the steps
you're taking to prepare for it.
    * Assess your business continuity preparedness for this type of
workforce outage scenario and try to improve it (if necessary).
    * Assign someone in your business to track biological threats  
such as
the avian flu. He or she should regularly review business continuity  
plans
and update them in response to new information.
    * Establish or expand policies and tools that enable employees  
to work
from home with broadband access, appropriate security and network access
to applications.
    * Expand online transaction and self-service options for  
customers and
partners.
    * Work with customers and partners to minimize any disruption by
developing coordinated crisis response capabilities.

We might add the following:

    * Bulk buy flowers and coffins as part of your business continuity
preparedness for a permanent workforce outage scenario.
    * Assign someone in your business to stand on the roof and shoot
anything with wings.
    * Set up email autoresponders to communicate: "Sorry, I'm out of  
the
office due to death."
    * Lock infected employees in their homes with broadband access and
then paint a red cross on the door.
    * Leave a full set of instructions on how to reboot the servers for
the next generation emerging blinking into the post-apocalyptic  
landscape.
    * Try to stay calm.






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