IP: A bit of humor for a rainy day -- in need of adult supervision ;-)

[David Farber <farber () cis upenn edu>]

> X-Sender: jwarren () mail well com
> Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2000 11:44:48 -0800
> To: nobody () well com
> From: Jim Warren <jwarren () well com>
> Subject: in need of adult supervision  ;-)
>
>  > I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the 
> clerk noticed
> >  that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.  She
> >  informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was
> >  signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the
> >  signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the
> >  receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared
> >  that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it,
> >  they matched.
> >
> >  ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
> >  An actual tip from page 16 of the HP "Environmental, Health & Safety
> >  Handbook for Employees: "Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your
> >  eyes."
> >
> >  IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD
> >  I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
> >  township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
> >  sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no
> >  longer wanted them to cross there.
> >
> >  IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
> >  My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the
> >  individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry,
> >  but they only had iceberg.
> >
> >  IDIOT SIGHTINGS Sighting #1:
> >  I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee
> >  asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I
> >  said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and
> >  nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."
> >
> >  Sighting #2:
> >  The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it is safe to cross to street. I was
> >  crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine, when she asked
> >  if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals to blind
> >  people when the light is red. She responded, appalled, "What on earth are
> >  blind people doing driving?"
> >
> >  Sighting #3:
> >  At a good-bye lunch for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the company
> >  due to "downsizing," our manager spoke up and said, "this is fun. We should
> >  have lunch like this more often." Not another word was spoken. We just
> >  looked at each other like deer staring into the headlights of an approaching
> >  truck.
> >
> >  Sighting #4:
> >  I worked with an Individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
> >  for the life of her could not understand why her system would not turn on.
> >
> >  Sighting #5:
> >  When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
> >  car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went
> >  to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to
> >  unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the  passenger's side, I
> >  instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.  "Hey," I
> >  announced to the technician, "It's open!"
> > "I know," answered the young man - "I already got that side."