IP: NULL - The Ultimate Computer Language

[Dave Farber <farber () cis upenn edu>]

> From: irwin () pacificnet net
> Date: Sun, 31 Oct 1999 10:42:27 -0800
>
> I think this is superior to Larry Clark's "come from"
> statement.
> > Computer Language Breakthrough
> >
> > Bell Laboratories has formally announced what it believes is the
> > ultimate computer science language.  Described by Iusi Nogoto, the
> > foremost Japanese fourth generation language expert, as "the only truly
> > elegant computer language ever devised."  NULL, as it is known, was
> > developed by the same department that originally invented the wrong
> > number, the busy signal, and the phrase, "The number you have reached
> > is not in service."
> >
> > NULL is the culmination of five years of work by a team of language
> > designers and computer science mathematicians.  The final breakthrough
> > occurred when operating system expert Hugh Nicks suggested that if
> > removing GOTOs was good then why not scrap IF statements as well, since
> > they usually required typing too many characters anyway.  This
> > brilliant concept was extended through a series of complex mathematical
> > theorems that form the basis of the NULL language.  Put in layman's
> > terms by Sally Kahn-Vallee, electrical engineer and PROM reader, "Like
> > we first we tossed out the bath water, then the baby, and like finally
> > the whole tub."  The elegance and conciseness of NULL can thus be
> > proven to be a direct consequence of the fact that the language as
> > defined contains no statements at all.  While at first glance this may
> > seem a drawback, in fact, it is a major improvement over any other
> > language.  A few of the numerous reasons are:
> >
> >           {point 1.}  Highly structured constructs.
> >
> >           {point 2.}  Advanced data hiding techniques.
> >
> >           {point 3.}  A NULL compiler can be written first in NULL
> >           without ever needing to be written in a lower level language.
> >
> >           {point 4.}  Since there are no statements to compile, in
> >           fact, no compiler need ever be written in the first place,
> >           saving time and money.
> >
> >           {point 5.}  Since there will be no compilers, no new releases
> >           will ever be issued hence maintenance is reduced.
> >
> >           {point 6.}  NULL programs are highly portable and totally
> >           machine independent.
> >
> >           {point 7.}  NULL programs compile and execute rapidly.  An
> >           important point to note is that with the addition of a small
> >           amount of language dependent code, e.g.  PROC/END etc., all
> >           NULL programs can be compiled by any other language compiler.
> >
> >           {point 8.}  Since there will never be new releases of NULL,
> >           all programs are upwardly and downwardly compatible.
> >
> >           {point 9.}  NULL can be parsed top-down, bottom-up,
> >           left-right, right-left, inside-out, and over-easy.
> >
> >           {point 10.}  NULL programs are both self-documenting for
> >           clarity and self-concealing for security.
> >
> >           {point 11.}  NULL programmers are easy to find and once found
> >           can be fired since they are not needed.
> >
> >           {point 12.}  If desired, specialized NULL hardware could be
> >           designed implementing the code in firmware.  Of course, such
> >           hardware may require years of development.  One suggestion
> >           from Bell's VLSI experts Nora and Andy Gates was to take an
> >           existing available chip and remove all the instructions
> >           except NOP.  While this should work in theory, they
> >           acknowledged that it is probably not the most efficient
> >           implementation.
> >
> > These are just a few of the many ways NULL is superior to all current
> > computer languages.  You can, no doubt, think of more.  For further
> > reading consult any of the numerous books and articles by Donald Knuth,
> > David Parnas, and of course, the basis of all modern computer language
> > theory, "The Emperor's New Clothes."

****************************************************************************
Professor David Farber
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