IP: Truth is Stranger than Dilbert

[Dave Farber <farber () central cis upenn edu>]

From: xyzzy () erhwon edu 
Subject: Truth is Stranger than Dilbert
Date: Thu, 29 Feb 1996 09:04:23 -0500


Total quality run amuck. I got this recently from a colleague who
works for an organization in this area. Until recently it was the
research wing of a much larger organization with his group doing
Computer Science research. Recently they were swallowed up by the
Informations Systems (I.S.) group of this organization. A recent memo
sent to all staff is listed below. This is *absolutely* not a lampoon;
it was quoted word for word from the regulations for their
offices/cubicles. Really. 


My favorite is the bit about the whiteboards.
                                                - dskldksdjs
===========================================================================
Corporate Industrial Engineering has defined quality as one
of our primary goals. Quality of the appearance of our cubes
is critical in our customer's perception of our group.
Corporate Industrial Engineering at I.S. Maryland provides the
quality leadership, that the rest of the building follows.


To support our rich tradition of quality the "Acceptable  Cube 
Guidelines" have been developed to assist our people in achieving 
these goals.


Personal Items:


The need to express individuality is necessary as long as it does
not tarnish our customer's perception and does not create a 
safety hazard. Clutter and non business related items in the
cube will reduce the perception of our ability to produce high 
quality solutions.


To maximize our customer's perception, a maximum of ten personal 
items in the cube are acceptable. These items may only set on the
counter tops, or placed on the walls of the cube. Personal
photographs are to be framed and be in good taste . . .


Acceptable personal items are limited to family pictures, plants,
wall plaques or achievement awards, calendars, clocks, or small
personal radios . . .


Counter Tops:


To set the professional standard, counter tops need clearing 
each night before leaving. The only items to be left on your
counter tops at the end of the day would be computer hardware
(Monitor,  Key board, Printer, CPU, and Mouse), two personal
items. At no time should desk paper baskets be used.


This guideline will promote a professional example and it will 
allow the nightly cleaning people to complete their cleaning 
more effectively.


Dry Erase  Boards:


Dry erase boards should be avoided if at all possible. These boards
attract non professional drawings and comments that tarnish our
customer's perception of our group.


Using a dry erase board will require the board being evaluated
during the day and cleaned when dirty. Only display pertinent 
information on the board at any time. When leaving for the
day, the board must be cleaned of all information.
...


Bulletin Boards:


No bulletin boards will be acceptable in the cubes. These
boards only detract from our commitment to quality.


===========================================================================