cellular phone story

[Richard Jay Solomon <rjs () farnsworth mit edu>]

Another hysterical telephone story.

We bought two Microtac Lite pocket mobile phones from Nynex for the MIT
DOHRS project yesterday. The salesmen delivered them with a smile, but his
service dept. never checked them out. Nynex had switched the electronic
serical numbers (ESNs) between the two units in their system database (!),
programmed the two phones with the SAME phone number (!!), and programmed 
their competitor's cellular (RSA) code on one of the units (!!!). It took
all afternoon today to figure out what was wrong (I told Nynex at first
that they had switched the ESNs, but they wouldn't take my word for it,
even though it was patently obvious by looking at the serial numbers on the
back of the phone). 

When I tried to use the phones the first time last night, by luck I picked
up the one with the wrong ESN and wrong phone number, so I got a perfect
match and it worked. They I tested the second unit with the wrong ESN and
right number, so it automatically reported hot to the national database,
not only disabling itself, but also the first unit, since obviously
duplicate numbers are not legit. Now I had no service at all. Nynex figured
that out by this morning, so I reprogrammed the numbers myself, and guess
what!, now both units reported hot immediately because the ESNs were
switched in Nynex's database (which is what I suspected in the first
place). 

The saga continued. After Nynex reprogrammed their computer to correct the
switched ESNs (we just left the numbers reversed since the bills go to the
same place), and I double-checked both the ESNs and the numbers by making a
tracer call to *611 (their service computer), I managed to activate the two
units on the margin of the home territory (508/413) just as the units
handed off cells from Nynex (508) into SNET (413), by moving my hand about
2 feet. Since this was during the initial real (pay) as opposed to a
service (free) call, the units got reported as HOT ONCE AGAIN to the
database, making them unusable now in both Nynex home AND SNET roaming
territory! (You are not supposed to make a roaming call before the units
are properly initiated).

Four more hours of driving around later, checking the programming and
calling Nynex service, now one unit works fine both in home and roam
territory, but the other unit only works in the 508 area code.  Nynex
cannot figure out why, but they blame SNET (of course). Since SNET's
maintenance dept is only open M-F, 9-5, Nynex can't find out until Monday
what's wrong. 

As of tonight, I only have a 75% solution. That should be good enough for
government work.

Is the NII only supposed to run M-F, 9-5 (Eastern Time)? To hell with
Hawaii, they're all on the beach anyway in the afternoon and weekends. 

                                                    *   *   *

Meanwhile on the A company front (also today), Metro Mobile (really Bell
Atlantic) informs me that we cannot make long distance calls (on the older
cellular phone in my wife's car) because my long-distance carrier of
choice, MCI, is having problems with the Bell Atlantic cellular POP (they
didn't pay the phone bill?). So they ask my permission to permanently
switch my cellular interconnect carrier to AT&T (the marginal cost per
minute is insignificant for the l.d. part of the airtime anyway). Sure. It
is so screwed up as it is, why not add another layer. 

Did it ever occur to the FCC that assigning multiple companies for
contiguous metropolitan areas was an invitation to a mess? We no longer
take canal boats from Boston to New York. We have autos and superhighways
now, and even choo-choos that hit 130 mph (south of Princeton, anyway).
This is no longer Jefferson's ideal agrarian society. People who use
cellular phones tend to leave their six-mile square pre-assigned turf. 

I can't wait for PCN spectrum assignments -- this is the stuff that makes
consultants ecstatic. 

Back to carrier pigeons.

Richard