Florida Electronic Voting Machine Slays Nine

["Fergie" <fergdawg () netzero net>]

Andy Borowitz:

[snip]

The state of Florida was on high alert today as an electronic voting
machine that was being tested in advance of next Tuesday’s midterm
election went berserk and killed nine in a terrifying rampage.

The rogue machine, which Florida officials said was state of the art in
touchscreen technology, was undergoing a routine test in Tallahassee
when election workers observed that it was “behaving strangely.”

After a worker conducting the test touched the machine’s screen to
register a vote for Democratic Sen. Bill Nelson, the machine registered
20,000 votes for his Republican challenger, Katherine Harris, and then
started spewing smoke and sparks.

As election workers ran for cover, the voting machine became unmoored
from the floor and began trampling everyone and everything in its path.

“It was freaky,” said election worker Carol Foyler. “It was almost like
the machine was mad that someone tried to vote for a Democrat.”

The touchscreen terror then cut a swath of death and destruction across
the state, despite attempts by the Florida state police to apprehend it.

Gov. Jeb Bush appeared on television later in the day to urge calm,
telling citizens, “Clearly, Florida’s electronic voting machines are
still very much a work in progress.”

At the White House, spokesman Tony Snow did not directly address the
issue of the voting machine’s deadly rampage, choosing instead to make
general remarks about the electoral process.

“This administration remains steadfast in its support of free and fair
elections,” he said, adding, “in Iraq.”

Elsewhere, in recognition of his invaluable contribution to the fall
election campaign, President Bush awarded the Presidential Medal of
Freedom to Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass). 

[snip]

Link:
http://www.truthdig.com/report/item/20061103_andy_borowitz_electronic_voting/

Bonus link:
http://www.wonkette.com/politics/funny-pictures/help-us-john-kerry-youre-my-only-hope-211688.php

- ferg


--
"Fergie", a.k.a. Paul Ferguson
 Engineering Architecture for the Internet
 fergdawg(at)netzero.net
 ferg's tech blog: http://fergdawg.blogspot.com/


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