Re: Obtaining a US Govt Security Clearance

[Adam Shostack <adam () homeport org>]

On Tue, May 04, 2004 at 12:53:56PM +0000, salgak () speakeasy net wrote:
| > -----Original Message-----
| > From: N Hawkins [mailto:nateh () grgig net]
| > Sent: Tuesday, May 4, 2004 01:33 AM
| > To: firewall-wizards () nfr com
| > Subject: [fw-wiz] Obtaining a US Govt Security Clearance
| >
| > All,
| >
| > How do you go about obtaining a security clearance if you have no
| > affiliation with the government or military?
| 
| You don't.  If you're not on a contract with, or employed by the Government, it's nearly impossible to hold, much 
less get, a cleared billet.

Y'all are such pessimists!

1) Pick an agency, and explore the nearby bars for someone who looks
passably like you.  Then either pick their pocket or mug them on their
way out.  (Remember this works better with the civilian agencies than
the active duty ones, for reasons that should be obvious.)

2) Find a good image of the card you want
(http://www.hughcox.com/abtatty.htm), photoshop it up a bit, print and
age it, and go.

3) There are reputedly lots of former KGB agents who have converted to
the capitalist side.  Consider outsourcing your requirements to them.

etc.

Oh, if you want to work in a clearance required facility, you'll have
to find one that's willing to pick up the cost of sending you through
the system.

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