Re: Points on your Internet driver's license

[Owen DeLong <owen () delong com>]

> as an exercise, try to write the end-user-level document on how
> a typical end user can tell if application X, for a very large
> range of X, is not working because of an isp-imposed firewall or

OK... I'll give it a whirl :-)

Dear <user>,
        Thank you for selecting CensorCo Bicycle Company's Internet
with TrainingWheels(tm).  We would like you to know that we've made
every effort to keep your internet experience safe, but, depending
on your usage and other factors, some unexpected things may still
happen.

        First, your safe internet connection supports only the following
services:

        1.      Your access to web sites via HTTP and HTTPS.
        2.      Your ability to send mail through our mail relay
                via SMTP to mail.censorco.net.
        3.      Your ability to look up DNS records through DNS
                to ns1.censorco.net and ns2.censorco.net.

        All other traffic will be blocked.  This means that if you are
using any other internet-based applications, such as on-line gaming,
peer to peer file-sharing, etc., they will not work with Censorco.
These applications have been demonstrated to be unsafe, and, are not
accessible while still using the TrainingWheels(tm) service.  If you
want to do this, you will need to contact your account representative,
pass a brief internet knowledge and security test, and sign the appropriate
waiver.  We will then remove the TrainingWheels(tm) from your internet
service and you will receive a full, unfiltered, unsafe connection to
the internet.

        In the meantime, here is a step-by-step guide to determining if
your problem is due to an unexpected situation, or, due to a characteristic
of the TraningWheels(tm) service.

        1.      Are you trying to browse the web?
                If yes:
                        1a: Does the URL you are having difficulty with start
                                with http: or https:?
                        If Yes, then, most likely this is an unexpected
                        situation.

                If no, proceed to step 2.

        2.      Are you trying to send email?
                If yes:
                        2a: Please check that your outbound server is set to
                                mail.censorco.net.  If not, this is your
                                problem.  If so, proceed to step 2b.
                        2b: See if you can go to http://mail.censorco.net in
                                your web browser.  If so, you are suffering
                                from an unexpected situation.  If not,
                                chances are that you are having DNS problems.
                                Proceed to step 5 below.
                If no, proceed to step 3.

        3.      Are you trying to look up information in DNS?  If you don't
                        know what this means, the answer is most likely no.
                        If Yes, proceed to step 5.
                        If no, then proceed to step 4.

        4.      Your problem is that you are trying to use an unsupported
                internet application.  This application will not work with
                the TrainingWheels(tm) service.  Please contact your account
                representative to have your TrainingWheels(tm) taken off.
                This concludes your troubleshooting.  Please do not proceed
                to the next step.

        5.      If your web browser says "Host Not found" when you try to
                visit http://mail.censorco.net, you have an unexpected
                DNS problem.  Call censorco technical support for assistance.

                If your browser is saying anything like "NXDOMAIN", "Nameserver
                Error", "Could not find host", etc., then these are the same
                as "Host Not found" above.

                Otherwise, your problem is most likely caused by
                an actual problem with nameservice on the internet in
                general or an effort to access a host which no longer exists.
                These things happen from time to time.  You may want to try
                your request again later.  If it still doesn't work, then
                it is likely the server you were trying to reach no longer
                exists.  This is not something that CensorCo controls, and,
                as such, we cannot really help you with this situation.

=================================================================

Sure, no marketing department on the planet is going to be happy with it,
but, it does provide a reasonable set of steps that allows you to determine
if our problem is due to complete filtration, or, other issues.

Owen

--
If it wasn't crypto-signed, it probably didn't come from me.

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