More TSA inanity

[David Farber <dave () farber net>]

------ Forwarded Message
From: "Kevin G. Barkes" <kgb () kgb com>
Reply-To: "Kevin G. Barkes" <kgbarkes () gmail com>
Date: Wed, 02 Mar 2005 03:11:31 -0600
To: <dave () farber net>
Subject: More TSA inanity

Ok, so now you can't take cigarette lighters on board commercial airliners.

Don't you feel safer?

This is another one of those inane TSA rules that serves no purpose other
than to inconvenience passengers and waste resources which should be
expended identifying real security risks.

The no-lighter rule, as well as the equally popular regulation which
requires your shoes to be x-rayed at the security checkpoint, can be traced
back to the convicted and incredibly inept would-be "shoe bomber", Richard
Reid.

On an American Airlines flight from Paris to Miami on December 22, 2001,
Reid tried to detonate explosives hidden in his tennis shoe by setting his
shoe afire with matches. Passengers and crew overpowered him and, hopefully,
beat him insensate.

The FBI said that Reid would probably have been successful if he had used a
lighter instead of matches to ignite the device.

Shortly after this escapade, the TSA started x-raying shoes. Now, the stupid
thing here is that you don't have to remove your footwear if you're wearing
tennis shoes. That's because the TSA isn't looking for explosives. No, that
would make sense and would actually be effective.

Unfortunately, there's no quick way to test shoes for explosives. But to
give the appearance that they're doing something- anything- to enhance
security, TSA tests what it's equipped to detect: metal, even though no one
has ever tried to hijack a plane with a pair of metal-reinforced
clodhoppers.

Your Nikes can be loaded down with two pounds of C4, but you can breeze
right through security with no problem.

And while you can't have a lighter, you can have up to four packs of safety
matches on your person or in your carry-on luggage. So you'll have to cool
your explosives-encrusted heels while the TSA screener does a pack-count to
make certain you're not endangering the aircraft with 81 matches. 80
matches- no problem; 81, you're going to the big house.

One can only be thankful that Reid didn't detonate his shoe bomb in private
in one of the airplane lavatories. Otherwise, TSA screeners would be handing
out slop pots to passengers as they boarded the plane.

Plastic slop pots, of course. Probably with smiley faces on the bottom.

There, don't you feel better?

Regards,

KGB

-----
Kevin G. Barkes
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