Interesting People mailing list archives

IP: Bill of anti-rights...


From: David Farber <dave () farber net>
Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 18:32:27 -0400



User-Agent: Microsoft-Entourage/9.0.1.3108
Date: Thu, 24 May 2001 17:24:07 -0400
Subject: Bill of anti-rights...
From: Gary Johnston <gj () woz org>
To: IP List <gary () one net>

Our Rights: The following was written by State Representative Mitchell Kaye
from Cobb County, GA

    We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help
everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid anymore riots,
keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and securethe blessings of
debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren,
hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, basically lazy people. We
hold these truths to be self-evident:

    ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any
other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but
no one is guaranteeing anything.

    ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country
is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You
may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but
the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

    ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you
stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful. Do not expect the
tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

    ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing.
Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help
anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation
after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more
than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

    ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be
nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in
health care.

    ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people.
If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised
if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

    ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If
you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't
be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place
where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of
leisure.

    ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that our children risk
their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate
oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to
fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and
do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little
tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

    ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of us sure want all
of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we
expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

    ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American
means that you have the right to pursue happiness, which, by the way, is a
lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws
created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.



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