IP: Alsop on Gates' CD-ROM

[Dave Farber <farber () central cis upenn edu>]

This Stewart Alsop's latest column in InfoWorld. Stewart is the
editor-in-chief. It's clear that he wasn't one of the participants in the
Windows/IDC useability test.
 
(Reprinted with permission. This is copyrighted stuff.)
 
November 27, 1995
 
The Road Ahead can get pretty rough when you shift into CD-ROM drive
 
I crack open my early copy of The Road Ahead, Bill Gates' hot new book.
(I'm writing this last Tuesday.) The first thing I do, of course, is
check to see if my name is listed in the index. (It isn't. None of these
big guys ever lists me in their index!) Then I pull the enclosed CD-ROM
out of the book. The cover promises "hundreds of multimedia hyperlinks"
-- on the Web, by the way, not Microsoft Network -- and besides, I spend
most of my life surfing the Web these days anyway.
 
It's not a Macintosh CD-ROM, so I turn to my PC with Windows 95
installed. I do my daily routine -- restart the machine because something
happens to it every night and the network isn't connected when I come in
in the morning. Oh yes, then I get the usual error message (in DOS text
rather than a graphical dialog box):
 
"Cannot find a device file that may be needed to run Windows or a Windows
application. The Windows Registry or SYSTEM.INI file refers to this
device file, but the device file no longer exists. If you deleted this
file on purpose, try uninstalling the associated application using its
uninstall or step program. If you still want to use the application
associated with this device file, try reinstalling that application to
replace the missing file. Press a key to continue."
 
As usual, I press a key to continue while wondering why the machine
couldn't have told me which device file it was talking about, since it
knows so much about what's wrong and I have no idea which application or
device file it is talking about. And I don't remember deleting anything
that would have been crucial to running Windows.
 
I enter my password to log on to the NetWare server. I watch Starfish's
Sidekick 95 take forever to load, remembering when Sidekick meant fast
and small. I watch Steve Gibson's cool, assembler-only screen saver,
ChromaZone, load in seconds and start making what could only be
drug-induced patterns on the screen. I watch Quarterdeck's Webserver load
in seconds and set itself up. Now I get to load the CD that came with the
book -- about 10 minutes after deciding to take a look.
 
I slide the CD carrier into the machine.
 
Dialog box: "The Road Ahead has not been installed. Do you want to
install it?" OK. The CD works with Windows 3.1, but it works better with
Windows 95 -- interesting concept. "Installation is complete. You will
need to restart Windows so the new settings can take effect." I thought
Windows 95 reconfigured itself on the fly and didn't require restarts.
"Cannot find a device file..." You know the rest of the scenario; I press
a key to continue.
 
Enter the password again. Now I'm 20 minutes into it and I think I can
finally look at the CD-ROM! (I admit I've been multitasking -- writing
this column and reading the book in between these events on the computer.)
 
Double-click on the icon for The Road Ahead. "Installing Temporary
Files." Gee, I thought it had already been installed. Eventually a big
black window appears with the cover of the book -- Bill Gates looking
just a little nerdy on an empty highway -- but nothing happens. In fact,
the program appears to be frozen. Bring up the Task List and kill The
Road Ahead.
 
Things are getting a little hinky. Excuse me while I spend another 30
minutes trying to figure out what's wrong.
 
One of the really cool things about Windows 95, according to most people,
is Autoplay, which automatically launches a CD-ROM when inserted. If
something goes wrong, however, Autoplay isn't very graceful -- it just
keeps trying to launch the program that doesn't work. The only way to
bypass Autoplay is to launch Windows Explorer. I do this rather than
double-clicking on the icon of the CD in the My Computer window, which is
not Windows Explorer but looks an awful lot like it.
 
I'm back again. Turns out that if I hit the Escape key after the CD
launches, the black window becomes active. (Very intuitive!) Start
cruising around the CD. First thing I remember is that I don't have sound
on my machine, so I get to look at Bill talking but can't hear him. So I
try some of those hyperlinks in the book. Whoops -- "UIuser: An error has
occurred, blah, blah...." I get the option to close the program or ignore
the message and proceed at my own risk. After some messing around, it
becomes clear that I'm going to get this error message every time I try
to click on a hyperlink. So let's forget the book and "Connect to the
Online World." Whoops. Same error message.
 
My tolerance for this session is shot. The editors want the column. I
want to get some other work done so I can go home and give thanks for my
success in the computer industry. I figure I'll just leave the CD where
it is, pop my Macintosh out of its dock, and take the book home so I can
sit back and read what Bill thinks The Road Ahead is all about.
Information appliances. Network computing. Ubiquitous interactive media.
The wired world. Real soon now -- just as soon as I can figure out how to
get my computer to work when I want to use it.