Full Disclosure mailing list archives
[off topic] CoffeeWars VII: Call For Beans
From: foofus () foofus net
Date: Thu, 13 Jul 2006 07:37:21 -0500
CoffeeWars HQ Undisclosed Location Not near Dick Cheney's (we have no idea where he stays, although we hear it's a local police officer training ground or state trooper college mostly) 12 July 2006 TO: All y'all This is the official Call for Beans for CoffeeWars 7. That's correct: we have been doing this for seven whole years. What is CoffeeWars? It is a contest to determine which hacker's coffee is truly the best, and (in the process) to gather and provide information about the best coffees to be had. Do you love coffee? Are you of the opinion that the particular coffee you drink is better than anybody else's? If so, then sumbit your beans for judgment, and let our blind taste-test determine whether you will return from the Coffee War covered in glory, or whether you've been drinking industrial waste. The rules are simple, and unequivocal: 1. Bring only whole beans. If your coffee has already been ground, it is disqualified. WHOLE BEANS ONLY. 2. Bring only unflavored beans. If your coffee is a vanilla- hazelnut-chickory chemistry experiement, it is disqualified. UNTAINTED BEANS ONLY. 3. Bring interesting beans. We don't care if Maxwell House trumps Taster's Choice; we are trying to focus on small- batch artisan roasts with the kind of distinctive character that makes them unique and fabulous. Don't go to Starbuck's and get a pound of dark roast; go to a local hole-in-the-wall where caffeine junkies sit all day sipping the good stuff and pick up something that expresses your personal ideal of good coffee! NO MASS- PRODUCTION BEANS. 4. Bring no decaf. It is amazing that this rule even has to be stated, but just to be clear, there it is. NO FREAKING DECAF. Seriously, folks. Jeepers@! 5. Bring enough beans. We would expect to make about two pots, but accidents happen, and we'd hate for the winning beans to be disqualified just because we spilled them and couldn't make more; 1/2 lb is a good rule of thumb, but if they are really good beans, bringing more never hurts... 6. The process reigns supreme. This is the only complicated rule. You have to admit that the others are pretty simple. But this one has several corollaries: - The judgment of the judges is final; if you were a judge, you would know; if not, you're either a contestant, or a civilian - The contest is a complicated, fast-paced (by our standards) event; if you have a question about a matter unrelated to CoffeeWars, we probably don't know the answer, and will not have the opportunity to explain this in detail or even politely - We like to share, but there's only so much coffee: the judges *HAVE* to get a proper sample; after that, we will get a decent cuppa to any contestant that wants one; non-combatants are not guaranteed a drink, just because we're not in the giving-everybody-coffee game - If you want to hold on to any of your beans not consumed in the contest, the time to address that concern is BEFORE the contest begins; after that time, things get a little confusing. - A complete writeup of the results is going to take longer than some people would like. It always does. So it's not hard to enter. Just be at the contest area before the start of the contest (10:00AM), and have your beans at the ready. You will fill out an entry form (this takes about 30 seconds) and deposit your entry with us. We will take it from there, but you're encouraged to stick around and sample a cup of something good, as it becomes available. You can also send an e-mail to me (foofus at foofus d0t net) if you plan to enter, and I'll be sure to have an entry form set aside for you. Some people have already done this. Anyway, if all this sounds like your cup of tea^H^H^Hcoffee, we're hereby putting you on notice: **************************************************************** **************************************************************** ** ** ** Selective Brewing System ** ** ORDER TO REPORT FOR COFFEE FORCES EXAMINATION ** ** ** ** _______________________ ** ** To: | DefCon Contest Area | ** ** Prospective Coffee Soldiers | Riviera Hotel | ** ** All over the Internets | Las Vegas, NV | ** ** |_____________________| ** ** ** ** 4 August 2006 ** ** ** ** CoffeeWars #7 ** ** ** ** You are hereby directed to present yourself along ** ** with your very bestest unground unflavored full strength ** ** coffee beans to the CoffeeWars Judges by reporting at: ** ** 10:00AM or prior, on the 4 of August 2006 ** ** ** ** (Don't try to dodge this by hiding in Canada, like Cat) ** ** ** **************************************************************** **************************************************************** Do it for the sake of everlasting glory. Do it in the hope of winning a valuable prize (yes! we give a prize at the closing ceremony-- had you not noticed?). Do it for the satisfaction of pouring fuel on the flames of one of DefCon's craziest traditions. Do it for the entertainment value of watching the judges try to control themselves after the first couple gallons of coffee have been consumed. Come on, you know you want to. It will be fun. CoffeeWars 7 begins Friday August 4th at 10:00AM (so get us your entries at at or before that time!) in the DefCon Contest Area at the Riviera Hotel in Las Vegas. We welcome your challenge. _______________________________________________ Full-Disclosure - We believe in it. Charter: http://lists.grok.org.uk/full-disclosure-charter.html Hosted and sponsored by Secunia - http://secunia.com/
Current thread:
- [off topic] CoffeeWars VII: Call For Beans foofus (Jul 13)